NBA Draft Night Thoughts

The NBA draft is always one of the more interesting nights of the year, to say the least. Players celebrate with their families and shady middlemen. GM's smart and dumb rack up phone bills that would give Bill Gates financial problems. David Stern brings out his Big Brother alter-ego. The comedy (mostly unintentional) runs sky high. Even without Isaiah Thomas this was interesting (although I feel that if he can't make insane trades then he should be on TV making inane comments. The world simply isn't right without Isaiah producing laughs). On a night with a historically bad draft class and a historically crazy evening, here are my opinions...

• I just knew that Chris Wallace wasn't smart enough to figure out that you have to take the 2nd best player with the 2nd pick, especially in one of the five weakest drafts in NBA history. Even if you would rather end up with Thabeet, you should trade down, pick up some assets, and take Thabeet at a lower slot. Congragulations Chris, Kevin McHale and Isaiah Thomas are out, so you are now by far the worst GM in the league!!!! No really, you should be proud. Most guys never would've kept their jobs after taking Kendrick Brown in the lottery and trading Pau Gasol for the Lakers' four worst players, but you find a way.
• I really thought Sam Presti, a guy cut from the Spurs cloth, was smart enough to take Ricky Rubio, the perfect sidekick to Kevin Durant. I guess they prefer a shooting guard who disappears in big games and makes Demar Derozan look like Kobe. But i'm even more annoyed by what the Sacramento Kings did. I've been on the Tyreke Evans bandwagon ever since I saw his epic performance against Missouri in the NCAA tournament. But taking Evans over Rubio is so stupid on so many levels. They already have Kevin Martin, so taking Evans creates a slight logjam at 2-guard, a problem that can be avoided by taking Rubio. More importantly, Rubio is way better. Way, way, way better. Rubio will be AS GOOD as Jason Kidd. Evans is a hobo's Dwayne Wade. But here's what i'm hearing: The Kins originally coveted Rubio, but they downgraded him for 1 reason, and it had absolutely nothing to do with his shaky jump shot, his rail-thin body, or his messy contract situation: He had a bad workout against a chair. Not against another player, against a chair. I give up, I have lost faith that GM's are ever going to grow a brain.
• Has any number one pick ever been more depressed than Blake Griffin? Don't worry Blake, just follow Lamar Odom's model of going through so many bongs that the organization has no choice but to ship you to a real NBA franchise.
• Why the hell would the Timberwolves take Jonny Flynn just 5 minutes after taking a miracle pick in Ricky Rubio? They better be looking to trade Flynn. If they keep Flynn, that either means they plan to shift Rubio to shooting guard, or they used the 6th pick on their backup point guard. Either move would make about as much sense as rehiring Kevin McHale as GM.
• Jeff Van Gundy said that the Timberwolves need to get a backup to Rubio who can mentor him and push him. I don't think he meant that they should use the 6th overall pick on their backup point guard of the future.
• I like the Stephen Curry pick. He makes way more sense with Golden State than anywhere else.
• The Raptors use the 9th pick on Demar Derozan, which is kind of ironic because he has evoked a lot of comparisons to former Raptors star Vince Carter. Derozan is a lot like Vince Carter in that he has a unique ability to stand around on the perimeter yet make everyone think that he was actually playing aggressive. Demar can't shoot, he can't pass, he can't attack the rim aggressively, he can't play defense, but other than that he really looks like a great shooting guard. I see him winning multiple MVP awards and All-Star game selections. Those will all probably come in the D-league, mind you, but that has to count for something, right?
• Based on that Derozan pick, I have to wonder if the Raptors are actively trying to convinve Chris Bosh to leave. Don't they realize that Toronto isn't exactly the most attractive free-agent destination, and Bosh isn't going to stay if they draft a bunch of future D-leaguers? The Raptors deserve to be criticized for not using this pick on Earl Clark or Terrence Williams. Even Gerald Henderson, Tyler Hansbrough, Dejuan Blair, or pretty much any other player would've been a better pick.
• The Bucks follow up the Raptors by taking Brandon Jennings. Its as if they made a wager on who could make a worse pick. I think the Raptors won handily: While both Derozan and Jennings will be competing for the D-league MVP for the next 12 years, Derozan looks like he graduated with honors from the Vince Carter/Tim Thomas school of mailing it in. Of course, I don't know how good Jennings is at drifting; He never gets the chance to mail it in because he never even plays.
• Picks 11-14 are Terrence Williams (a poor man's Ron Artest), Gerald Henderson (This guy could beat Demar Derozan while wearing a blindfold and tying his hands behind his back), Tyler Hansbrough (if the NBA gave an annual award for the best 9th man, Tyler would never lose it. Ever. Of course, that's more than you'll ever be able to say about Demar Derozan, Brandon Jennings, and a lot of guys that are going to go later in the draft), and Earl Clark (A Lamar Odom carbon copy, right down to the undeserved reputation as a knucklehead). It pains me to say this, but we went four entire picks without me being able to criticize a GM.
• Never fear!!! Joe Dumars continues his quest to destroy his undeserved reputation as a personnel genius by taking Austin Daye. So what if he was barely noticeable during college games and once went 5 straight games without an offensive rebound (How exactly do you do that when your 6'10?). He has athleticism and long arms!!!!!!!!!! I agree with all the ESPN guys in that I think he can be a fixture on a team for the next 10-12 years; of course, I don't mean on the pistons, I mean that he can be a very productive player on that D-league dynasty that Demar Derozan and Brandon Jennings are building.
• The Sixers draft Jrue Holliday, thus adding the missing piece to the D-league all-stars. With a core of Demar Derozan, Brandon Jennings, Austin Daye, and Jrue Holliday, I'm envisioning at least 8 straight D-league titles. But in all seriousness, how did the sixers pass up on Ty Lawson and Eric Maynor for a guy that was barely even notticeable during his one year at UCLA? unlike the other guys on that D-league juggernaut, at least I know that Holliday will always have a place in the NBA because he's such a great defender. Still, the sixers will come to regret this.
• Minnesota, the one team that doesn't actually need Ty Lawson, snaps him up. Look, what if Rubio AND Jonny Flynn get injured? You better have a good 3rd string point guard in that situation if that situation comes up, and now the wolves are set at point guard. In all seriousness I like the pick. I know they don't need him, but Lawson has the most value here, and It's better to take a lottery talent and trade him than to waste a pick on a project that probably can't even start on Demar Derozan's D-league champion.
• The Jazz got the biggest steal of the draft in Eric Maynor. When UCLA played VCU in the NCAA tournament (u gotta love all those acronyms), Maynor clearly outplayed Jrue Holliday.. But of course, Maynor doesn't have long arms according to Bilas, so obviously Jrue Holliday is the better pick. Watch, in 3 years all the ESPN "analysts" will act like its a huge shock that Maynor is actually better than Holliday, and way better than Jennings.
• One of Darren Collison's strengths is the fact that his parents were olympic sprinters. I think its safe to predict that Usain Bolt's kid will be the number 1 pick in 2030.
• The rest of the draft was pretty uneventful. My quick hitting thoughts: Demarre Carrol and Taj Gibson are sleepers. Carrol = Ben Wallace 2.0. Gibson is an underrated shot blocker and low post player. I know for a fact that he's way better than teamate Demar Derozan: Every time I watched USC play, Gibson was the guy that stood out, not D-league Derozan. Also, I can't believe that Dejuan Blair (the 2nd coming of Paul Millsap) slipped all the way to the spurs. And as a parting thought, someone please talk some sense into Kevin Pritchard. Please don't sign Hedo Turkoglu. We all know how bad a fit he is X's/O's wise with Portland. But also consider this: The Blazers have spent the past year using Rudy Fernandez's dreamy features to put female fans back in the seats. All of Rudy's excellent work goes out the window if we sign Hedo.
• Consider this: Let's say Minnesota keeps OJ Mayo instead of making the stupid Mayo-Love swap. Without Mike Miller they probably lose more games and get a higher pick, meaning they can build around Ricky Rubio, Mayo, and Al Jefferson. Even if they still end up with the 6th pick, they could still get Rubio. The Wizards would pass him up because A. If Ernie Grunfeld was dumb enough to basically trade Rubio for Miller/Randy Foye, then It's not hard to envision him passing up The Spanish Sensation (Unless we can come up with some awesome Jonas Brothers related nickname, this will have to do) B. The Wizards have somehow convinced themselves that they are championship material so they would've taken an immediate impact scorer with no defense like Steph Curry or they would've picked Jordan Hill to fix some of their major frontline weaknesses. So Minny basically traded a foundation of Rubio-Mayo-Love for Jonny Flynn-Rubio-Kevin Love-Jefferson: In the first scenario your PG with insane vision spends the whole game creating offense for your dynamic two guard and low post beast, and on defense your two guards are wreaking havoc. In the 2nd scenario one of your guards becomes completely useless, and you have a very undersized frontline that can't guard anyone. I think that if any of the 20 hardcore timberwolves fans were still reading this they would probably be lighting themselves on fire.